Mystery Popcorn
by Megaloo
Summary: Fic born of a 30 minute challenge: There's popcorn, swimming and the Straw Hats.


Noes: This was written for a 30 minute challenge with the prompt of "popcorn" and "swimming," so if it's a bit odd, my apologies! Considering the time limit, I think the continuity actually came out rather well!

* * *

"What is _that_?" Sanji was eyeing the mess of….whatever it was with the disdain generally reserved for things of a disgusting, badly cooked and possibly slimy nature. 

"POPCORN!" Luffy cried, though really the only reason why Sanji had _any idea_ what the boy was saying was because he'd been on the same ship and at the same dinner table with him for months on end, as it certainly sounded more along the lines of "PUMHAKON," which could be just about anything, really.

Sanji brushed the slightly saliva-damp popped kernels from his shirt with a flick of his wrist, surveying the deck of the Thousand Sunny. Just who had been idiotic enough to give the boy _popcorn_. He glanced back just long enough to see Luffy's cheeks swelling to the size of…well, he didn't want to really contemplate what they were swelling to the size of. Just as he had firmly decided he didn't want to know why the popcorn seemed to be _multicolored_. It was an affront to all food everywhere, corn-related or not.

Right. Who was the idiot. His eyes immediately found Zoro….fast asleep. Yeah, not him. Though if it had been it would explain why the popcorn looked so…well frankly, terrible. The man was _no_, by any means, a born chef. Thankfully.

_Naturally_ it couldn't have been the lovely Nami-swan or Robin-chwan, they were far too intelligent and Nami-swan certainly wouldn't put good supplies to waste like this.

Franky, perhaps? No, he'd been below deck all day. The galley floor might as well have been _vibrating_ for all the noise he'd been making down there.

Chopper? No, he'd been working on his Rumble Balls all day, and regardless, he didn't tend to wander into the galley to steal anything, especially when Sanji was cooking. Something about "Emergency Food Supply" seemed to have stuck with him.

…The popcorn was gone. Or stored in Luffy's cheeks like a chipmunk.

Well, there was one way to figure this out once and for all. "Luffy. Where did the…_popcorn_…come from?"

"Usopp!" Oh, great, he still had popcorn bits in his mouth. Which were now all over Sanji's shirt _again_.

…But still. Mystery solved.

----

Usopp knew what terror looked like. He stared it in the face every day and usually ran screaming from it.

Which is exactly what he was doing now. He'd seen Sanji walk out on deck, had seen the look he gave the accidental popcorn, and had likewise seen the moment when it became clear that it was _all his fault_.

Not that he was admitting that, of course. He'd be a fool to do that, that was as good as ASKING for a heavy foot impacting with his head and he really rather preferred his skull undented, thank you very much.

Which is why he was cunningly hiding in the galley. It would be the LAST place Sanji looked, right?

Well, he hoped as much. And there was a lot more of Sunny to search than there had been of Merry, he had to give it that much at least. You could hide for _hours_ .

…Someone was at the door. _Shit_. He ducked, trying to hide behind the table. He knew if he got too close to the cooking side of things and Sanji DID find him, he'd be dead at least twice over. At _least_.

Zoro was awake. And apparently thirsty. Usopp breathed a sigh of relief but seriously hoped he'd escape Zoro's attention as well. The bastard still hadn't gotten over the fact that sometimes inventions go awry and sometimes that means spewing paint all over the closest person and it really wasn't HIS fault that the red paint plus Zoro's green hair made him look like Christmas personified and Luffy and Chopper had chased him around begging for presents for _hours_…

And the guy was just enough of a jerk about it still that DESPITE his animosity with the cook, he might just tell him where Usopp was hiding as some sort of _revenge_.

Really, it was the hazard of the job! Great Inventor, the Great Captain Usopp! And the popcorn had tasted alright to Luffy, even with the chili pepper, powdered wasabi, curry and a few other spices that had been a part of The Great Usopp Spicey Explosion Ball! It would have been perfect. Minus the exploding corn in the box next to him and the horrible cloud of spices that had settled all over it…

Definitely not his fault. And Zoro was gone. Phew!

Another sigh of relief and a (soft) exclamation of "The Great Captain Usopp will NEVER be found!" at the wrong moment had a pair of far-too-shiny black shoes in front of his clever hiding spot, quickly followed by a jerk on his nose as he was bodily removed from beneath the table.

Really, why did _everyone_ have to go for the nose?! It was his most attractive feature! And if people didn't LAY OFF on dragging him around by it, it was going to _fall off_. And then where would he be? Unattractive, unmanly, unable to get a date _ever_ and most importantly, _UN-NOSED_.

Though right now it was other parts of his anatomy he was concerned for. Like, all of them. Especially anything kickable.

"IT WASN'T MY FAULT! I didn't put the corn there and EXPLOSIONS HAPPEN!"

Of course it made no difference to Sanji. He'd had to see, smell and have that horrible concoction _spit_ on him. _Twice_.

Sanji smirked. That didn't look good. That looked like something evil was about to happen.

And then he was in the ocean. Well great. Could this day GET any worse? Failed experiment, disgusting popcorn, near-death experience, near loss of nose, and now he was _wet_.

"HEY GUYS LOOK! USOPP WENT FOR A SWIM!" And with a splash, Luffy had joined him.

Yeah. Fishing out his captain who either eternally forgot or simply didn't _care_ that he couldn't swim was definitely a nice cap to another ridiculous day.

Sanji had better take pity and give him a rope soon.


End file.
